Cameron - Please Come Home!

I can't believe it's been over a month since I've posted. It feels like life is just flying by. Good thing I take pictures like nobody's business!

I guess I will update about Sophie and Cameron (:

They have both doubled their birth weight! Well, Cameron - almost! 

Sophie is home and loving it! She's getting so big, I can't believe it! She scoots backwards during her tummy time and she's so close to rolling over. I'm a proud mommy. 

Cameron is also doing excellent! He did have a set back, as I mentioned before. He ended up needing a second surgery. Which was actually a compilation of 3 procedures. Wow. I was beyond nervous... He had hiatal hernia repair. They wrapped his stomach around his esophagus and closed the space between his diaphragm. They also placed a GTube for feeding purposes. Just a couple of days after his surgery, things weren't so well... He got an infection. I cried every moment no one was looking. I was so worried about him, I barely slept.. :/ BUT he prevailed! A few days later, his cultures came back negative for infection! What a relief... He's being fed a certain amount of special formula for GI disorders through his GTube per hour. A few days ago, the finally let him start eating by mouth too! Yay! Not a whole lot, but just enough to satisfy his oral fixation. (: He is getting better every day and they said he should be home by next weekend! I am so excited. It just feels like a dream.. It felt like I was never going to have both my babies home at the same time!

Anyways... life is busy and it's getting busier!

I apologize for their not being a whole lot of recent information but even this short update tells all! 

<3 Alicia

Keep Our Little Guy In Mind!

BIG SIGH!

This is going to be a pretty short update but you'll get the idea. Besides, most of you follow me on FB and already know the deal for the most part. 

Today was a pretty big day for us in the Rhein Family! (:

We brought our beautiful daughter, Sophie Marie home today. Well as close to home as can be right now. We are still in he Fisher house until Cameron can come home as well. We can't wait to be home and settled, of course. The most important thing right now is getting Cameron home though... 

Our little man is having a little bit more trouble than his sister. Sohpie handled the surgery very well. She's eating like she should be and pooping just fine! Cameron is also eating enough and pooping just fine! Unfortunately he has episodes.. His heart rate drops into the higher 50's, lower 60's... :/ Originally they thought it was just from reflux because babies with Gastroschisis tend to have more issues with reflux and bowel movements. After trying numerous ways to maybe lessen the amount of reflux, nothing worked. So they did an X-ray after having him swallow Barium (a liquid that allowed them to see where it was moving to - that way they would know where his food was also going). The discovered he has a Hiatal Hernia. Google it, I'm too tired to explain lol

Anyways.. So for now they are trying different ways to make his reflux less of an issue.. But nothing seems to be working. They are trying medicine, less food more often, and keeping him up-right for a while after he eats.

If these things don't work, he will have another surgery to fix the Hiatal Hernia.. For now, we are all hanging in there!

I'm sad he is by himself in the NICU now.. I wish him and Sophie didn't have to seperate. I am glad she is doing so well but it hurts me so bad to see him suffer. :/

Wish us luck in the next few weeks. <3

For now - I am exhausted.

<3 Alicia

They Have Made Their Arrival!

Pump, NICU, Sleep, Eat - That is exactly what the past seven days have been for me and I couldn't be happier. Especially considering I am the master of sleep and I get pretty much none now. I will only become more sleep deprived when they are home, but do I mind? No, not even close. My love for Sophie and Cameron outweigh any type of love I've ever felt before - for people, things, ideas - everything. I am in love. <3

 

Charles Cameron <3

 Sophie Marie <3

Oh, wait, I guess I should announce the big news!! Sophie Marie and Charles Cameron were born June 23, 2012! Sophie at 1640 and Cameron just a minute later at 1641! My life will never be the same. Initially they could only give us estimated weights of them both being around 4 lbs. 4 oz. Which made no sense whatsoever considering how much smaller Sophie is! Then they gave us some newer weights of Cameron being 4 lbs. 16 oz. and Sophie being 4 lbs. 5 oz. Of course, they have both lost weight since then. They cannot eat and their tummy's are being pumped on "tummy juice". Once the tummy juice is all clear instead of a darker green - and they make a bowel movement - they can start eating! I cannot wait! Cameron tries to eat his paci and I want to cry every time I see it because I just know he is so hungry... :/ But soon enough, he can eat!

I am doing my best at pumping. I have had quite a few set backs though. For example, last night the power went out here so I had to hand pump since the pump I have has to be plugged in - on top of that, the breast milk I had in the freezer went bad and all that I pumped over night had to be thrown away. Good news though - the supply has kept up through this and has even gotten a little better! Nothing compares to pumping at the NICU though - next to my babes, I get quite a bit more. (:

Anyways, I should mention a few milestones, scares, set backs. The business with the twins... So let me start at the beginning. Well, we went for C Section. That was pretty rough on me, recovery wasn't so bad but I didn't handle the actual procedure to well for some reason, oh well. I'm okay now! Anyways. Sophie was first but I had no idea she was even born... She didn't cry at birth. :/ So she had her little set back. Cameron made his appearance one minute later and he definitely cried! I didn't get to see the bowels outside before they were put back in, but Dad did. I'm really glad I didn't get to see them... I don't think I would want to see it. A few hours later, the doctors were in and out of my room, updating me on the little ones. Before I regained feeling and movement in the lower half of my body, the bowels were back in! I was so amazed... and so thrilled! Now the waiting began... I didn't get to see them until 0200 the next day! I hadn't slept because I was so eager! To be honest, I expected a longer wait but I was so ready to see my babies! Before I went down to the NICU I was told that Cameron had a moment in surgery where his heart beat dropped pretty low because his breathing tube became dislodged... Imagine my emotions at that point.. amplify it by a trillion. Yeah, it hurt. My little boy is such a trooper though, he seems to have recovered fine with no long term effects!

I will never forget making that trip to the NICU and seeing them for the first time. I have never felt a better feeling. They were here and they were doing great!

There really hasn't been any downs since then, only ups. But the hard part is yet to come they say. They still have to learn how to use their bowels properly and digest yummy foods. That itself will be a battle but it's a battle I can only do my best to prepare for. We can only hope they know we will be there for them no matter what. I miss them so much when I am not there... ugh.

Yesterday, day 6 - I had a bit of a mental breakdown. The hormones finally caught up with me. I hope that I cried it all out because I know I need to be strong for them. If they can go through all of this, who am I to think I have it worse? They need me and I need them. <3

I know, I've kind of talked in circles with this one but with it being the best week of my life and not knowing where to start, you just kind of have to deal with me :/

They are a week old today! So let's hope the poop soon! Oh, I forgot to mention...  Cameron has already pooped! But they can't count it because it was before the fluid from his stomach had been pumped. :/

Okay, but I will leave you with this - Pics from today!

Cameron <3

Sophie <3

SIDE NOTE: This was supposed to be posted yesterday but we had an interruption with internet connection so here ya go, a day late!

Lots of Rambling. Ooops!

As most of you know, the babes and I had a recent trip to the hospital. We spent just 2 nights in there. What a drag. I just want to clear some things up about the "scare".

Prior to going in, because I've been told so many times that my case is so rare (both babies having gastroschisis) - resulted in doctors telling me that even if the slightest thing happens I need to come to labor and delivery. I didn't really see this as a problem as the babes are really just chillin. Well on Tuesday, I had a baby shower to attend. It was held by the Post FRG leader here at Walter Reed. It was a lot of fun! We got some goodies and play some fun games - which reminds me, I need to freshen up on nursery rhymes! Anywho... Me being pregnant, after the hour and a half of excitement, you know I had to go tinkle! So on my way out, I stopped and "utilized the latrine". Hahah. Yeah, my mucus plug decided to come say hi! Well prior to this, I had a few braxton hicks so I headed straight for L&D instead of going back to my hotel room - goodies in hand and all! Well I got there and they were surprised that I had come in just for losing my mucus plug - of course once I explained the situation, they were more understanding. Well check up went okay. I was 2 cm. Nothing to really worry about since it didn't progress while I was there. My cervix was still more than 3 cm sooooo everything was really good. They kept me there "just in case" something did change. But 2 days later, nothing changed. I was still having irregular contractions and staying calm. They did give me 2 steroid shots to help Sophie and Cameron's lungs grow just in case they do decide to come a little early. So I am relieved about that. All in all - I just wanted to clear things up. I've been hearing that I was in labor, which isn't true. I know if I were on the outside looking in, I'd probably worry the same way!

I do have a great support system between Brandon's very sweet and welcoming family and of course my family who are all so crazy but all have the best intentions.

I guess I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately on what really matters to me and what bridges I better not burn and which are better left to ashes. I know in my last post I said that I wasn't getting support where I needed it. Well, that's not entirely true. I thought at the time it was because I felt like some people in my family were just being selfish and not understanding my stress. Looking at the situation and the past overall - thanks to my Aunt Emily, I realize that I am also being selfish.

Okay, let me make this more understandable because it looks as though I am just rambling. Haha. My mom and I have never had the best relationship. I always get jealous when people say things like, "I have the best mom in the world!". Because I have never felt that way and I'm not saying that I will ever feel that way but I do know that I am learning to appreciate her more and more every day. My mom was never really there for me the way most mothers are there for their daughters when I was "growing up" so a lot about being a woman, I learned on my own - and let's face it, I'm still learning! I was severely emotionally damaged when I first left home and I blame her for the majority of it but now that I have grown to be a better, more mentally stable person, I realize it wasn't easy for her. She had her own emotions and her own demons to face. She is more emotionally damaged that I could ever be so I'm learning to forgive her for all the things I blamed her for while growing up. I haven't always been the best daughter either.

Since she arrived here, I have been so stressed out because she puts me through an emotional roller coaster, daily! It's not easy but I know it's better I face it now while she is here rather than later when she is gone. I wont bore you with details but let's just say I'm going to do my best to ignore all the ignorant remarks she makes and the selfish things she does. I understand why she does this and I do not expect her to change this late in life so I will just bite down and try handling it better myself. I still love my mom, no matter what. I will still go out of my way to make her happy. I also can admit at times I make "smart-ass" comments to her and I disregard her feelings. The goal here is to work on that. I am hoping that maybe if she sees I am being nicer to her, she can consider my feelings a little more and understand where I am coming from.

Okayyyy. Now that I have bored you with 2-3 paragraphs of nothing that you probably care about, I will move on! Hahah.

Besides, this blog is about my little ones (:

We have two appointments tomorrow. The first one is just a check up where they get baby heart beats. The second is the wonderful non-stress test. Since I am on bed rest, I guess I will have to take the shuttle to instead of walk. This is killing me. Don't get me wrong, I love resting and being lazy on some rainy afternoons and even just days that I don't feel like doing anything - but seriously? I'm supposed to be a bum until I pop these things out. Omgoodness. I need board games in my life. Unfortunately there is not a PX on this post. Imagine my luck! My husband did leave the PS3 here with me though - I am very thankful. I do love me some Call of Duty. I also enjoy Netflix! Since the babes will be here within a few weeks, we all know that I am just not going to have time for those simple pleasures here soon. I will have bigger, better, sweeter pleasures! I can but cannot wait to meet my little ones!!

With the army being the way it is - imagine my embarrassment when a nurse asks me if I have car seats and I have to answer no.. Followed by her asking me if I have anything ready for the babes and the answer is still no. Mother of the freaking year, right here! Right. The most frustrating part of this whole ordeal is knowing I don't even have a home to call my own, let alone a nursery for my babies. We don't own a crib, we don't own a dresser, a stroller, car seats, diapers, breast pump, bottles, nothing! It's a horrible feeling. Hopefully within a couple weeks we will have a home, at least - but even then, it's cutting it close. Brandon will have to do all the shopping since I will definitely still be on bed rest then! I have made a pretty detailed list though - so I hope that helps. Most of the stuff is from the good ol' Wally World just to keep it simple! I am not interested in going all out. I would be if our situation wasn't as it is, especially with boy/ girl twins. I mean come on, since I was little all I've ever wanted was to be a teacher and a mommy. Well I'm knocking one out right now! Woo!

To top things off... Our household goods - seeing as how they were just shipped out Friday will not be here until pretty much August. I've never had a C-Section before but I can only imagine that getting up and down from an air mattress is not going to be the best thing for me. :/ I am trying to talk my husband into buying a new couch.... One - the couch that's being shipped from Germany isn't the most comfy, cute, cuddly couch. I can live with that but two - if we were to upgrade before the furniture got here, sleeping on the couch would be a lot more beneficial for my healing body. So if anyone wants to talk him into this for me, I would greatly appreciate it! He does his best to be there for me and relieve my stress but dear lord, some times he needs a push lol <3

So back to the whole, I "can" wait thing. I can wait because one - they need to "cook" as long as possible and two - we need to be better prepared. So wish us luck along the way! Any help is GREATLY appreciated! Thank you to the Howards, btw! They let us mail all our goodies to their home from the Baby Shower Sunny & Laura hosted for me before we left Germany. I do have great friends. I am lucky to be closer to Megan but sad to be far away from those in Germany. The military has it's way of making life bitter sweet. <3

Okay, okay - I get it. Bed rest has turned me into quite the blabber mouth. (; As always, thank you for reading! (:

Calm Before the Storm!

Omgoodness! We are so close to having two sweet little babies! I am excited/ nervous/ and everything in between!

I do have some great news though! Thanks to Lyndsey Carroll! She emailed me a while back with her own personal story with her son who was also born with Gastroschisis. You can view his story here. It's so touching and it definitely brought a few tears to my eyes so be careful! She is so sweet! Unfortunately, it took me a while to reply to her since I really didn't feel like random people I didn't know were reading my blog! So I didn't think twice to check my email as often as I check my Facebook! I wrote her back as soon as I came across the email, even if it was pretty late and to my surprise, received another email within the hour! She sent me a link to another woman who recently had twin boys with Gastroschisis! Whoa! After everything the doctors have been telling us about the rarity of our situation, I am soooooo excited to meet another family going down the same path we are. Her babies are so sweet! Twin boys (: Little miracles! They had silo bags which we will not have according to our surgeon. So far from what she has told me, the complications were pretty minimal compared to other stories I have came across. She is blessed <3


I am trying hard to prepare for not being able to hold my babies for hours, days, or even weeks. I am trying hard to prepare myself for seeing them for the first time. The mixed emotions of being excited and devastated all at the same time are sure to kill me but I know I have to be strong and hold it together for my babies. Last night, I had a pretty hard break down. I guess it's to be expected since I haven't really had that "let it all out moment" that I usually have with live changing events. The hardest part is not knowing what will happen. I have so many questions... Of course there's the typical "why me, why us?".. "will they be okay?".. "what if the worst that can happen, happens?". Like I said, it's hard not knowing. I am calm and collected now because I know my babies do not need to feel me stressed, stress themselves out and try to make an early arrival. The worst part about that is being "blamed" instead of comforted. Yeah, "Well, that's probably why you are having contractions. You are stressing too much." Heads up, it only makes it worse when it feels like you are blaming me. I wont say who said this to me. I will say thank you to all my friends and recently made friends who understand whether your baby has gastro or not. I appreciate every aspect of help and support because I feel like sometimes, I'm not getting it where I should be. I am just doing my best to stay positive!

The army has failed me completely and continues to do so. So that's just another great stress factor in my life. The only thing I am greatful for from the Army is actually putting me here at Walter Reed, TDY or not so that my little ones can receive proper care. That and getting me out of Germany period. I have never and I know I never will be as stressed as I was in that environment. I guess for now, there is not much left to say!


I certainly will not forget to mention this special day regardless of what situation the army has put me in... Happy Memorial Day!

 This is a quote I came across on a recent trip to Washington D.C. So moving. As a soldier myself, I pay great respects to my brothers and sisters in arms before me.


<3  

What a Rollercoaster!!

Ugh! The army makes me sooooo angry sometimes! I definitely could write a book on what's been going on but I've decided not to go into detail. It's been a while since I've written and trust me, it's been one heck of an adventure. Good news, I'm finally stateside and have regular appointments with doctors at one of the best hospitals in America. Bad news, I live in a hotel! Well...

We've been living in hotels for a little over 2 weeks now. Within that time, we've lived in 3 separate hotels. How exciting!!.... Not. Fortunately our last move will be this Saturday - back to the best hotel we've visited since being in Country. That, I guess I can't complain about. 

TDY pay?! Pffft - forget it! While we are supposed to be getting $$ to cover our food and lodging expenses - we aren't. The paper work was done all kinds of wrong! So we've been paying out of pocket since we got here. Now - sooner or later we are supposed to be reimbursed for about 75%. It would be 100%, but since it's an advance - I guess that changes things. Although, in my eyes it really shouldn't. I believe we should be reimbursed 100%, no matter what!! Gotta love the way the army works! Yay! 

Orders... Uh... yeah right. So far only Brandon's have been approved - which makes NO SENSE - I'm the patient!! Hahaha, fail. But hey, they can continue to pay me to live in hotels if they want to. Thing is - we can't move into a more permanent place until we are officially stationed here. And we can't be stationed here without those orders. Imagine that, right? It's still a waiting game. Everything will eventually work itself out, I know that. It's just that the whole ordeal is a stupid mess that could have been prevented. 

At this point, all I care about is my babies and their health (: We had a visit this morning and the poor things... they look so cramped!! And their bowels cover so much of the ultrasound, I just want to hold em.. I just tell em everyday that it will be okay and they still have to take care of each other - even though our little boy is quite the nuisance to our sweet little girl. Sigh, she will prevail one day! (: The good news is that besides their bowels - everything else looks perfect!! So I have a good feeling about em! I can't wait to meet them!! Ugh. 12 weeks from now is going to sneak up on me but hey, I'm ready for it! 

Oh, I forgot to mention! We have to deliver at 37 weeks. The doctors said anything past that puts the babies at higher risk. They say that the amniotic fluid could really harm their bowels and that's one thing we really need to avoid so that the bowels can be put back into place properly. As of today, I'm 25 weeks and one day. And it's definitely starting to get uncomfortable. :/

Today, we seen that the babies are lying basically on top of each other. Both heads are on the left side of my belly - and feet on the right side. Lol cute little things, head to head. (: at least his butt wasn't in her face! We didn't get any pictures today but I'm sure we will next time! We are basically the talk about all of the OB clinics. I guess both twins having gastroschisis is incredibly rare. I know I've heard of it once or twice before - Oh you know I have to get my research on! But it's not like I've heard a billion stories... So hopefully mine is a successful one. I love my little ones so much!! 

Well, I guess for now, I'm out of words. But hey, next time I'll come with some pictures! Some belly pics and maybe even some more baby pics! (: 

Thanks for reading!!

<3 

April 9th = DC, Here We Come!

What a boring Wednesday, so far! In all reality, anything up until I get my final orders to get out of Germany is going to be boring, as far as work goes. Which we are still waiting on, obviously. We got our paperwork back from our Doctor stating that I must be in the DC area before the 9^th of April, so yay! Now the army just needs to hurry up.. Hopefully they take this situation as serious as possible.

I mean, of course if they don’t hurry up, I’ll be leaving regardless with MEDEVAC procedures. I’d just rather not.

It’s kind of scary to know that in a few weeks I could be leaving Brandon to do everything here by himself. I’m really nervous about being somewhere new without him, too. That is something I’m sure can be handled though. I’m sure that my welcoming unit will be supportive of what’s going on. The last thing I need right now is to be stressed, I know. I’m usually pretty good with dealing with stress but moving from one country to another is not going to be easy. It’s possible but I just have to remember to maintain my serenity.

I’m realizing that this is not going to be easy. Well, I knew that already but I realized that all the posts we could possibly be stationed at are 40-50 minutes away from the Hospital we are being directed to. That’s without traffic. Supposedly it gets close to 1 ½ to 2 hours with traffic. So imagine the gas money and the time we’ll be spending. Time, I’m not really worried about but money – well we’re trying to save it right now.

The main thing I am focused on is of course my son and my daughter. I love them so much! I can’t wait to meet them! They are definitely putting up a fight against my stomach. It’s just not going to stop growing, I’ve accepted that. I just hope with them being twins they are okay with room and I hope they aren’t born SUPER early to the point where operation is out of the question or they can’t handle it… anything is possible. Still, I’m keeping my head up and thinking more positive thoughts. I just feel like posting/ writing/ getting it out of my system makes me feel a little better about the whole situation.

I’ve considered getting a green ribbon tattoo with their birth date on it but maybe that’s too cheesy. Hahaha. Who knows… All I know is I can’t wait to get another ultrasound for some type of status update!

And before it slips my mind, like everything else does – thank you to all of our friends and family who are providing extra support for our family! It means a lot to us. It’s because of you guys my hope does not fall short. (:

More to come soon!

<3

A Little Bit To Learn!

Time to bust out the preggo belly pictures! I've really been delaying this.

19 Weeks, tomorrow and I'm out there, kind of. I can't wait to see myself in the next few months. This should be so much fun! Ha! After recently losing 30 pounds and getting my body to that almost perfect spot for myself, it was definitely hard to start seeing my belly come out. But you know what, I'm really okay with it. I hope my babies know they can make me the size of 3 basketballs and stretch me to the moon and back, and I wouldn't mind. As long as they have enough room to swim around, I'm a satisfied Mommy. (: 

I especially worry now though, about them having room with their intestines also floating around in there. It's scary to think that they could end up getting too crowded and coming way too early but I just keep hoping for the best. Who knows, that may not even be an issue the doctors are concerned about but I will be asking at my next visit/ next phone call! 

I don't even run or do any type of stressful exercise anymore and it's driving me nuts! I love being active! But I am a little too worried that that one extra stride or that one extra crunch could do something to harm their bowels. I can't wait until these babies pop out because I am so ready to do some P90X and some running! 

Anyways, tomorrow is the day I get my paperwork back from the doctor! Yay! And then it's all a stressball of out processing from there. But we can handle this (: Moving shouldn't be too awful. I know for a fact we have lots of help on this end! I am worried about being able to find a decent place that accepts doggies (so Daddy can bring his lab, Max) and has 2 bedrooms, at least. We really wanted 3 BUT we quickly realized that's not going to happen within our price range or needs but that's okay! 2 is just fine! 

Anyways, I decided I would give a description of Gastroschisis for this blog. I actually stole it from another website I go to pretty often for Gastroschisis but that's because to me, it seemed like the easiest way to get it across without writing a book or two.

Gastroschisis,  causes the intestines to protrude outside the belly, results from a weakness in the abdominal wall and must be repaired surgically. Gastroschisis is not normal. Although a fetus' intestines will develop outside its body for a time, they should be totally internalized at the time of birth.

This is a great page to learn a little more about Gastroschisis (also where I stole this pic from), but also to raise awareness.

http://butterflykissesforkaylee.webs.com/

I do plan on finding more websites like this one. 

In case you were curious, because I really didn't know, there's a green ribbon for Gastroschisis! (:

That's really all I have for now. But this week, I will keep you updated with things like when we're leaving Germany, when we will be stateside and anything new that I learn. Thank you again for taking the time to be a part of my family and helping us through this. 

<3

My First Post

Where do I begin? I guess the beginning would be the most logical starting point. We found out we were pregnant this past year. November, sometime. We had been trying since March or April. It was just after I started losing hope that we would ever have children so of course I was beyond excited when I finally "popped" positive.

We had our first baby appointment a few weeks later, week 10 to be exact. This was the most exciting moment of my entire life. Nothing will ever compare and I'm okay with that. I was already excited to see my baby but when it was two I was seeing on the ultrasound screen, I was ecstatic. To my knowledge, twins didn't run in my family or my husbands and we weren't on fertility treatments so we felt so lucky and so blessed.

We we directed to the high risk department in our hospital for the pure fact that they are twins. We didn't mind. Common knowledge would tell us we would have more risks. So at 12 weeks, we had another ultrasound. Baby B wanted to be the star so we ended up with a ton of great pictures from him/her but of course only a few decent ones for Baby A. 

Baby A (:

Baby B (:

At this time they noticed that both babies bowels were on the outside of their little baby bodies. They told us not to worry because they still had time to form on the inside and it could have just been late fetal development. Considering every pregnancy is different, we didn't worry too much. Of course the minute I was able to, I was "googling" away. Only to find the doctor was right, so I was able to brush the concern away, though it was always in the back of my head.

Finally at week 18, we had another ultrasound. I was so thrilled for this one! We both were! We wanted so badly for their to be a girl and a boy in there! Daddy was especially hoping for that little boy. (: To me, it didn't matter, they were already the loves of my life BUT for Daddy's sake, I wanted there to be a boy. And what do you know, we got what we were wishing and hoping so hard for! Baby A is our sweet little girl and Baby B is our sweet little boy! Of course, Baby B was trying to hard to steal the show, again! He was snapping his fingers and shaking his money maker!

Baby A - So far we have decided on Sophie Ann OR Marie.

Baby B - And for him, we like Charles Logan (: SN: Charles is my husbands first name!

So the moment we learn the sexes, clearly we were ecstatic. After finishing up the ultrasound, we were ready to go home and pick out names, clothes, gear and the whole 9 yards! Unfortunately, we had to receive some not so great news first. 

We currently live in Germany. We are both Active Duty Soldiers. The doctor came in to let us know that we are immediately being reassigned to a stateside assignment because both of our babies have Gastroschisis. We had no idea what that meant! It sounded very serious considering we can't even deliver our little ones here in Germany. We only had 3 options for the states and we have chosen the D.C. area. So for now I am continuously doing research and learning as much as possible. It's so hard being in the unknown. I of course cry from time to time but I do my best to stay positive and not to stress for my little ones. They need me right now. I talk to them daily. I let them know Mommy and Daddy are here and we will always be here. I tell them to take care of each other and not to be wrestling around too much. Even though they have different sacs, there are still so many risks involved. 

If the military decides to take too long to move our paper work along, I will be MEDEVAC'd out of Germany. Which basically means I will be moving to the states with or without the paper work involved. The goal is that both my husband and I go back at the same time because I need him more than ever right now. I have to be at a hospital by week 23 or 24. Right now, I am 18 weeks. So by the first week of April, I will have to say goodbye to all I've come to know here in Germany. It is really hard knowing that all of the great people, great friends I have made here will be so far away. I hate to be going to a state where I don't know anyone. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with and without my friends, it will be hard. But as great as they are, I know they will keep me and our little ones in our thoughts. <3